Friday, 27 January 2012

Living with an Alcoholic

How does one cope with an alcoholic...especially one that refuses to do anything about it...??The trouble is when they are sober they are such a wonderful person..I joined Al-Anon in the hope that I might find some answers..they only help those that know or live with an alcoholic..its more of a sharing ones burden..but it doesnt answer what I really want to know..! Perhaps, if I try and find some literature on the subject of alcoholism,,maybe that might help me understand what the problems is..or will it? I live in a mad mad world of chaos..wondering if I am living with another person and not the one that I love and know! I sometimes think it is perhaps my fault that they are drinking..what the hell is wrong with me...what have I done wrong..have I triggered this bender he is on...! He is not violent but can get nasty with things he says..then he regrets what he has said...tells me he doesnt want to argue...well neither do I...but I hate what is happening now..and want to thump him to make him see what is happening...But I know that wont help or do anything..just make things worse...! I have to live in a world of silence whilst he is in this mode..! I am frustrated and angry too...Cant he see what he is doing is destructive..He has numerous health problems Diabetes, Atrial Fibrillation, asthma and other things....so why are they hell bent on making things worse....I guess I will never know...in the meantime ...I sit and watch and cry myself to sleep!
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4 comments:

  1. Anonymous14 May 2012 at 19:35

    Wow, This is exactly where I am this evening. Earlier today my spouse picked up his motorcycle from impound from a public intox charge. He is out drinking now. If I try to question his decision or suggest he should come home he gets upset and makes it my problem. They suggest to talk to them when they are sober. He gets mad then because he doesn't see how it is affecting me. I am going to try al anon, just so I can not feel so alone. Maybe I hint at how to cope. Maybe a suggestion to a good therapist.

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    Replies
    1. creativegal31 May 2012 at 01:22

      Well I finally had to turn my back on my now ex partner after suffering from a cardiac arrest...I decided that my life was worth more than worrying about his alcohol addiction...I cant help him and realise that now...the only person that can help him is himself...It was tough to turn away but then again...my life is now getting back on track slowly. My family have been a rock and have supported me through this...My mistake was getting involved with an alcoholic and for not sharing my fears and anxieties...But I know I shall get over my relationship and become stronger each day!

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  2. Anonymous19 May 2012 at 12:44

    Just to warn you that gardeninggal suffered a cardiac arrest on 22nd April whilst shopping in Tesco with said (now ex) alcoholic partner. She was airlifted to cardiac hospital where she spent 5 days in CCU. Triggered by stress. Has had a ICD fitted and is very ill.
    Let this be a warning to women who remain with alcoholic partners. They do not change and their alcoholism can kill you in the end.

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  3. Anonymous19 May 2012 at 16:49

    I was married to an alcoholic. A binge drinker. Charming and loving when sober. Dangerous and violent when drunk. Tried to run me down in the car one night when he was drunk. Threatened me with knives and hit me with a wooden baton.

    Joined Al-Anon - surprised to see mostly middle class women married to alcoholic vicars - doctors - businessmen.

    In the end I had to walk away - as it was too dangerous to stay. He died a few years later of a drink related illness.

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